A Bad Taste In My Mouth

As I've just returned back to the States, I'm currently staying with my Dad, helping out with my elderly Grandfather, until I find work.

These are new relationships for me as I only met my biological Father about six years ago and we've really only been in touch the past three. And as most of you know, I've been living in Europe these past three years so we haven't had much time to build a relationship.

I know all relationships are hard work. I know this. But it's difficult forming that family bond with someone whom you've just met and are still trying to get to know.

Everyone has their little quirks and annoyances. It's easy to look past these in family members and close friends as they've been around so long that you hardly take notice of them. Or maybe its that we accept these faults or can look past them without a thought because we love them and appreciate all of the wonderful qualities they do possess. The good and the bad within them have been around your whole life, just like these people have. They are part of who they are.

Making new friends and getting to know people is always tricky. It shouldn't be hard. But there is always that period of adjustment, the getting to know you phase, in which you learn their sensitivities, step on a few toes, learn what is funny to them and what isn't, determine subjects that are off limits... politics, religion, etc. The latter is the hardest for me as the majority of the people I surround myself with are fairly open minded. I can, however, understand and respect that we are all a product of our environments and because of this, we come to different conclusions and different values. Our personal experiences, the way we were brought up, where we were brought up, our own free thinking- all these things and many more mold us into the person that we become.

I can respect these differences. I celebrate them. And I think they make for the most wonderful conversation- as long as everyone can stay open minded and respectful of where other people are coming from. Each of us are entitled to our own opinions. As I am mine.

There are certain subjects though, that I choose not to brooch with certain people. Because I know that they cannot look past being right or respect where I am coming from. If people could just accept that there doesn't always have to be a right and a wrong, a my way or the highway, well... the world would be a much better place. (I'm singing kumbaya in my head and everyone in the world is holding hands.)

You don't always have a choice when it comes to your family. I'm used to my family and I love them to bits. I don't always have to agree with their opinions or choices, but I love them unconditionally nonetheless.

I'm struggling with this now. It's a strange thing, attempting to build a parental bond with your Father at 29 years old. With someone whom you don't know and share no interests or common ground with. It's not unconditional.

Here's a good place to start... compliment your daughter's cooking.

Yesterday my Father told me that it wasn't necessary for me to cook for him and my Grandfather, which I've been doing a few nights every week.

I love to feed people. Not literally feed them, spoon to mouth. But I love cooking for my friends and family. I am my Mother's daughter in that sense. It gives me an enormous sense of pride and satisfaction to rustle up a tasty meal for the people that I care about. I am at my craziest and happiest in these moments. Baking cookies, searing tuna, perfecting hollandaise, chopping up a fresh tapenade... these things, they mean that I care about you, that you're worth all of this hard work and goodness. I don't just cook for anyone. It's my way of saying I love you.

And I don't mind boasting over the fact that I am a good cook. I'm proud that I am. It's the one sure thing that I can do. It gives me satisfaction to satisfy taste buds. And no one in my entire life has ever told me they didn't like my food. It has been a constant norm that plates have been demolished and seconds typically had. (Except for that one time when I came back from Thailand and tried to make Pad Thai for Axie and Claire- disaster!)

So, when my Father told me that they prefer going out to my home cooked meals- it kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. It was probably the most insulting thing you could say to me.

Hey, ho- you can't satisfy them all. But maybe I can satisfy you with a recipe tomorrow.